


What a nuisance! What a life!

by valahallalmalla



Category: RWBY, Revolting Rhymes - Roald Dahl
Genre: F/F, Gen, I'm Sorry, It's in rhyme, Ruby is a princess, Terrible rhyme, Weiss is a butcher's daughter, What even is a rhyme scheme?, Yang is a beatboxing bandit who lives in the woods
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-01
Packaged: 2020-05-31 16:13:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19429537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valahallalmalla/pseuds/valahallalmalla
Summary: Now Taiyang had one last resort,before his kingship did fall short.To find a woman worth relating,the King enrolled in online dating.This soon bore fruit—although a fruit that was not sweet at all.For who else should the king select but Lady Cinder Fall.Her pout could stop a charging knight,her mind was a steel trap.Her honeyed words were sweet and light,though they were full of… deceit.





	What a nuisance! What a life!

**Author's Note:**

> If you haven't seen the Revolting Rhymes miniseries (currently on Netflix), I highly recommend it, as well as the original poems by Roald Dahl. They both do it better than I ever could.

In a far-off, distant land,

there was a ruler named Taiyang.

And though his home was in a palace,

his subjects’ view was far from jealous.

For their King lived the simple life;

and what’s more, he had lost his wife.

Summer Rose, the warrior queen,

was loved by each and all who’d seen

her loving heart and mighty arm.

Yea, few could resist Summer’s charm.

Taiyang mourned like all the kingdom, but he had some consolation.

For ‘fore she had been lost, the Queen gave cause for celebration.

An infant child, left behind while she fought back the Grimm,

and now the only fragment left that kept the life in him.

For the luster of her locks—

which shone more bright than any rocks

—and her sweetness, Taiyang chose

to name his daughter Ruby Rose.

The girl grew carefree in the castle

‘til one day began her hassle.

For though the King still mourned his wife,

the law bound him to share his life.

And so his council soon demanded

the royal fam’ly be expanded.

Now Taiyang had one last resort,

before his kingship did fall short.

To find a woman worth relating,

the King enrolled in online dating.

This soon bore fruit—although a fruit that was not sweet at all.

For who else should the king select but Lady Cinder Fall.

Ruby waited for her stepmother upon the palace stairs.

But Cinder Fall’s arrival marked the start of her despairs.

The red-clad princess quickly learned to never go near Cinder,

for when she did, the woman proved to have a darkness in her.

She’d brought a mirror with her, an inky looking glass;

the witch within a prisoner of sorcery long past.

Each morning, the Queen would say, “Mirror, on the wall.

Tell me, darling looking glass, who they love most of all.”

Though Ruby knew her step-mama’s heart was as black as coal,

to her dismay the kingdom proved far easier to fool.

After all, the Queen was wise, the Queen was oh so pretty.

The Queen seemed kind, with golden eyes, and she was very witty.

Her pout could stop a charging knight,

her mind was a steel trap.

Her honeyed words were sweet and light,

though they were full of… deceit.

Each morn the glass would soon reply, “Cinder, never fear.

For out of every citizen, you are the most loved here.”

And every day the Queen would sniff and toss her raven locks.

“Of course,” she’d say, “Of course, who else?” whilst smiling like a fox.

Then came the day the king fell ill, his golden hair gone gray.

Though Ruby never left his side, there was not much to say.

For though his choice in brides left quite something to be desired,

Tai was the father that she loved, the king that she admired.

Soon there came a funeral—and then a coronation.

But as Cinder took the throne, Ruby sensed some bad vibrations…

# \|||/

Meanwhile, in the town below,

lived a man with hair like snow.

And though he longed to be on top,

he owned a humble butcher shop.

Jacques Schnee was this man’s name,

and he was known for dressing game.

But in a land of talking beasts,

the butcher's name—while not quite least

—held nowhere near the awe he craved,

no matter how hard that Jacques slaved.

He had three children, and a wife,

all of whom shared in his life.

While Jacques filleted and his wife cooked,

their son would quietly do the books.

Their oldest daughter ran the shop,

while the girl between had a different lot.

Called Weisskäppchen, Weiss for short,

she had no interest in the court.

Instead the growing girl would go

into the foothills topped with snow.

With a cape and pure white hood,

Weiss would venture through the wood

with sword and gun upon her belt

to hunt the meat that filled their shelf.

Then once the game was chopped and sold,

Jacques placed the profits in her hold.

So she could take their well-earned dough,

to the bank of Trotter, Runt & Barrow.

There, the banker, Trotter Watts, would greet her with a sneer.

For the butcher and his family were not quite welcome here.

But he never ever stopped the girl from making a deposit,

for while pigs may hate all butchers, they also love a profit.

One dreary day, as Weiss just happened to return home early,

her father burst out of the back, his smile gleaming pearly.

“Weiss!” he said. “My darling girl, it seems the King has died.”

“Dreadful!” cried the huntress.

“I suppose,” the man replied.

“Now take this string of sausages, this juicy hock of ham,

and take them to the castle; try and sell them if you can.”

He tapped his nose above a well-brushed ivory moustache.

“They’ll need it for the banquet. And make sure they pay in cash.”

With a soft sigh, the girl obeyed, longing for her bath.

To dodge the chill, she took a shortcut down a wooded path.

There she spied some flowers, a budding branch of mistletoe,

and picked them to take with her, for her respect to show.

Once she reached the palace, she found the doors flung wide,

a gray parade of mourners in a ring by the graveside.

“At least we have Queen Cinder,” Weiss heard one of them mutter.

“And Taiyang’s lovely daughter,” came a whisper from another.

“But she is just a teenager,” the first noble complained.

“The crown would be quite mean to her. How will she take the reins?”

Still holding all her packaged meat, Weiss moseyed for the kitchens.

But before she could reach her goal, she found herself forbidden.

“We need no flesh,” the soldier told her, patting the girl’s head.

“Perhaps you can go back to town, and sell it there instead.”

Well, that would not please Father, of that much Weiss was sure.

So, at a loss, she paced ‘til her salvation did emerge.

“Those are pretty flowers,” said an unfamiliar voice.

“I’ve never seen their kind before, but they look quite choice.”

The hooded girl turned with a jolt, and who else should she see,

but the newly-orphaned princess, that unfortunate Ruby.

Her deep red hair was hanging lank, her voice not quite as bright;

but the royal smile never shrank, her grin warming the night.

“Your majesty!” Weiss made to bow, but Ruby stopped her short.

“Meat and flowers?” chirped the Princess, to which she had no retort.

“I—I’d hoped to make a sale,” confessed the butcher’s daughter.

“It’s all the best, our finest stock, the tenderest we’ve slaughtered.”

At this her new companion paused, hands twisting in her dress.

“My Dad loved ham,” she quietly said. “But now it’s all a mess.”

“I’m sorry to disturb you,” said Weiss, backing away.

“Please take the mistletoe, I’ll go, and try some other day.”

At this the Princess straightened. “No, wait!” she called at once.

“I’ll buy it all! We’ll have the lot tomorrow for our lunch.”

Later, as Weiss walked away, her hands empty and bare,

she looked back and saw Ruby wave, a flower in her hair.

# \|||/

At first, the rule of Cinder Fall

was good to creatures large and small.

The winter passed, the spring brought flowers,

and all the while grew her powers.

“Mirror,” she’d say every day, “by now you know the drill.

Tell me that they love me, or who I have to kill.”

O’er the months the looking glass did always inform her.

“You, my queen, are Number One. There’s no need for murder.”

Until one morning, when it hissed, its voice soft as a breeze,

“Oh, my queen, you’re Number Two. Ruby’s the bee’s knees.”

The Queen was livid. “Gods!” she roared. “However could this be?

I’ve put up with that brat and this is how the girl thanks me?”

But even as she spoke, the Queen was cooking up a plan.

And who else could she rely on but her own loyal—

“HUNTSMAAAAAAAN!”

—cried Cinder, clawing at the curtains.

“If I don’t see your face in seconds, you’re in for some… hurtin’!”

But he was quick—he had to be, with a mistress sharp as her

—and appeared at once with a crisp salute, arm moving in a blur.

“Find that Rose!” the Queen demanded.

“Or, I swear, you’ll be be-handed.

Then you’ll truly be no good,

oh my darling Ironwood.”

It was true, he had one hand,

the other lost in foreign lands.

In its place was an iron fist,

but when he struck, it never missed.

“Go!” shrieked Cinder. “Take your axe!

Be sure to bring me proof she’s passed!”

With a frown, but no objection,

Ironwood changed his direction.

The Huntsman rode out, hard and fast,

to make the Princess breathe her last.

But when he found her in the wood,

beside a snow-white riding hood,

the would-be killer paused to think,

about how much his orders stink’d.

For while Madame Fall was now his queen,

the woman had not always been.

Before Cinder he had served Summer,

and when he saw the girl born from her,

remorse entered his iron heart

and shook the man’s resolve apart.

Even so, he had to act,

quick before word could get back

to the Queen, his current master,

which would be complete disaster.

So, the Huntsman spurred his horse,

down the path and through the forest.

Towards the chatting, strolling pair,

and whisked the Princess through the air.

“Weiss!” she called, starting to struggle,

but was no match for all his muscle.

He held her tight against his side,

closing his ears and resuming his ride.

But when he stopped and set her down,

he caught a blow upon his crown.

“Why?” bawled Ruby, face stark white.

“O, you gave us such a fright!”

Then she spied his rising blade,

and scrambled back across the glade.

In vain the Huntsman tried to catch her,

but he was stymied by her stature.

Small and slight she slipped away,

though he had never meant to slay.

All that Ironwood had sought

was a scrap cut from her coat.

Something small to trick the Queen,

but what a fool the man had been.

Now he turned back, empty-handed,

to face the one who had commanded

him to murder her stepdaughter.

At least Ruby’d escaped the slaughter.

But riding back, what should he pass

but a heart behind plate glass.

At once the man came to a stop

and walked into the butcher’s shop.

He made his purchase, feeling keen,

then returned to see the Queen.

“O, it is done!” he proudly said.

“And here to prove it, wet and red,

is the Rose’s very heart.

Her most essential, vital part.”

Cinder grinned, her face a terror.

“I knew that you would brook no error,”

said the Huntsman, barely sweating.

“Unless there’s something I’m forgetting?”

“No,” she murmured, eyes afire.

“Once again, you dodge my ire.

Now go, my Huntsman, leave me be.

But leave the heart—a snack for tea.”

One hand shaking, the other cold,

Ironwood felt much less bold.

And as he fled from his queen’s tower,

the Huntsman tried to count the hours.

How long ago had Ruby fled?

Had she found a nice, safe bed?

Or was she wand’ring lost and cold,

somewhere in the forest’s hold?

# \|||/

The Princess ran through twisted trees, feet stumbling in the loam.

But there, what’s that? Just past those leaves, a stately manor home.

A house built wide, a house built strong, with room for three or more.

With tiled roof and wooden walls and cat flap in the door.

Stomach aching, legs a-shaking, Ruby stepped inside.

And saw within a sight that made her almost teary-eyed.

There upon the table sat three heaping bowls of fish;

which she attacked though, to be frank, she’d never liked the dish.

“Cold!” she cried after the first. “Who the heck made this?”

That didn’t stop a second bite from passing the girl’s lips.

“And that one’s hot,” poor Ruby whined while poking at the third.

“But dare I hope…” She took a nibble. “Oh, just right. My word!”

Belly full, the Princess found herself becoming drowsy.

But when she sank into a chair, she found that it was lousy.

“Help!” she called, all swallowed up into the plush recliner.

“That thing is huge!” said Ruby. “I should speak to their designer!”

Her second try was just as bad, the seat as hard as stone.

“These people are so weird,” she said. “Of course they live alone.”

Comfort then was found at last when Ruby tried the third.

Too much, in fact, for soon a dainty snoring could be heard.

“What’s this!” a voice did call after minutes turned to hours.

“Half of my lunch is missing.”

“And also parts of ours!”

Ruby Rose let out a gasp quite distant from delightful.

For now she’d learned the manor home had occupants most frightful.

Three of them to match the meals,

three of them to match the chairs.

Each one bearing sharpened nails,

each one furred with sleek black hairs.

Tigers, they were, tigers! Tigers dipped in ink!

Oh, _panthers_. Yes, panthers. Now that Ruby stopped to think.

“All mine is gone,” the smallest purred,

a growl the frightened Ruby heard.

Wincing, she rose from her rest,

steeling up to fly the nest.

She crept over and grabbed her shoes,

hoping she’d left no more clues.

“Oh, my!” Ruby then heard. “Is this a home invasion?”

A worried mother's voice now adding guilt to the equation.

“Quickly, quickly, check the locks!”

Ruby hurriedly donned her socks.

“Hey!” cried out the smallest, “I found her! Over here!”

Ruby ran, abandoning her left sock out of fear.

It flew through the air as she opened the glass,

quite unexpectedly saving her ass.

For it fell on the snout of the smallest black panther,

the stench quickly turning her into a pant-er.

“Phwoar!” the cat growled, backing up toward the exit.

“You little—” she sputtered as the Princess legged it.

Out through the window and into the trees,

crimson hair streaming and dress at her knees.

Straight through the forest did Ruby escape…

until she saw something that left her agape.

# \|||/

When Weisskäppchen returned to the city at last,

her riding hood tattered and all stained with grass,

she was met at the door by her stupid kid brother.

And though she would rather speak with any other,

Whitley was eager and bursting with news.

“You’ll never guess it,” he mockingly mused.

“Unless it’s about the Fall Queen dropping dead,

get out of my face or I’ll start knocking heads.”

But even as Weiss raised a threatening knuckle,

Whitley quickly folded, a cheap suit with a chuckle.

“We’ve had a customer,” the buy did explain.

“Father told me that he works for the Queen.

A mysterious man often seen at the palace.”

“Do you know his name?”

“Well it’s prob’ly not Alice.”

Weiss digested his babble as she packed a bag,

folding it tightly so that nothing dragged.

“Was his right hand of iron?” she asked, flexing hers.

“Yes, and real craftsmanship, not amateur.”

“And what did he buy?” the girl dared to hope.

“Just… one bleeding heart! And three sausage ropes.”

_Ruby’s alive!_ Weiss then thought with relief.

_She must have escaped. I hope she gave him grief._

“The heart must be for some deceit.

I smell blackmail, and it smells sweet.”

At Whitley's words, Weiss rolled her eyes,

ready to leave with a shrug and a sigh.

And so she would have, had Whitley not stepped

in front of the door toward which the girl crept.

“And where are you going?” he asked with a frown.

“Back to the woods? Or up into town?”

“The forest,” said she. “I have lost something vital”

“Father won’t like that,” he said with a smile.

Cursing, Weiss searched for a reason.

Something that could excuse her treason.

“Ah!” she cried. “I am visiting Port.

To deliver his groceries soon to fall short.”

“Hmm. I suppose,” Whitley voiced his assent.

“I’ll let Father know when he asks where you went.”

So back to the hills Weisskäppchen had strode,

now packed with supplies and geared up for the road.

But as she hiked further Weiss stomped and she swore,

for to find Ruby she’d have to go door-to-door.

Ruby was trusting, Ruby loved people.

Hopefully she hadn’t met somebody lethal.

First on the list was the home of Sir Port,

a retired soldier and a most cheerful sort.

Often had Weiss taken his sound advice,

the man’s rambling stories a bearable price.

But when she arrived there his door was ajar.

Cast aside were all three locks and the bar.

Most suspicious, so she went on with care,

blood growing cold at the sight she found there.

For instead of the jovial, big-bellied warrior

was a tableau that made Weiss feel much sorrier

for her old friend, because he had been eaten

by a massive wolf—a furry, fanged cretin!

She gasped. He saw her. O, what a grin!

The beast prowled closer, hemming her in.

“Why, dear Sir Port,” Weiss whispered, voice quiet,

“you’re looking so thin. Have you started to diet?”

For as the wolf neared she could see that it wore

Sir Port’s coat and pants from the peg by the door.

“Grrrr,” growled Wolf. “Er, I mean: Yes, of course.

Such progress!" he laughed. "Though I could eat a horse.

Or another morsel, not large, but tasty.

Finally, I get to snap up a Schnee!”

But ‘fore that gray wolf could devour her,

Weiss drew her dust-action revolver.

Spied the bogeys in his snout,

and with her pistol, blew them out.

There he fell and there she stood.

In the cabin made of wood.

Until, from ground level, a voice did exclaim,

“Is that you, Weisskäppchen?” Up the words came

from the wolf’s belly, which greatly protruded.

A sight that quite nearly had her lunch remove-ed.

“Sir Port?” Weiss choked out.

“Indeed, it is I!

Now, not to be trouble, but could you please try

to extricate me from this prison most vile.

It’s quite cramped, you see, and smells strongly of bile.”

In the end when the huntress at last left the house,

She had a new cloak to drape o’er her blouse.

One that she hoped would most surely deter

all other wolves, for it was made out… of fur.

# \|||/

Meanwhile Ruby, our wandering princess,

found safety—well, perhaps more or less.

A secluded cabin far into the wood,

and there on the doorstep our heroine stood.

This time she knocked, having learned quite the lesson.

She hoped to explain how her plight was quite pressing.

But when the door opened, Ruby found behind it,

a brigand, a robber, an unshaven bandit!

And not just one robber, the Princess soon learned.

The house contained seven, their faces quite stern.

As she stood there frozen, her heart at her feet,

she heard one cry, “Shay D! Yo, drop us a beat!”

Her horror was soon replaced by pure delight,

for beatboxing outlaws can be quite the sight.

“Yo, yo!” heard Ruby, “You don’t need deduction.

Just listen to this lyrical introduction!”

“We don’t need choruses, don’t need hooks.

‘Cause we’re the infamous Seven Crooks.

We’ve got the rhythm from Shay D. Mann,

and now meet the rest of us, quick as you can.”

“There’s Robbie, our youngest, and Li’l Larceny,

then our favorite loose cannon, that ol’ Phil O. Nee!

There’s ‘Grand Theft’ Otto and Larceny Senior,

and last our leader, Miss Demeanor!”

“Just call me Yang,” chuckled the latter.

“Now tell us, kid, whatever’s the matter?”

“I will!” Ruby said, grinning from ear to ear.

“But first, tell me if I have something to fear.”

“Your Highness,” scoffed Yang. “If we’d meant you harm,

We’d have whipped out the shackles instead of the charm.

We all recognized you from miles away!

But trust me, Princess, it’s your lucky day.”

“Um, great.” Ruby sagged, flooded with relief.

For the bandit’s rough words struck a chord of belief.

At last she had allies, if ones not so savory.

Now she just had to make use of their knavery.

“One thing,” said the thief who was called Shay D. Mann.

“Before we risk shortening all our lifespans,

there's a favor we must ask of you, our young royal.

Just one thing we need to ensure we stay loyal.”

“Cash!” Yang cried. “Dosh, currency, dough!

We’d settle for stock options, though yours are low.”

“That’s right,” said Shay D. “We know where to look.

That is, if you’re all right with helping us crooks.”

“Er…” Ruby paused. “Can I pay you in hugs?”

All seven thieves laughed right in her royal mug.

“Nice try,” Yang told her. “But that just won't cut it.

Relax, there’s no danger for you, my red nugget.

All that we need from you is a distraction

to busy the bankers while we all take action.”

“And after that,” Ruby made sure to confirm,

“You’ll help put an end to Queen Cinder Fall’s term?”

“Spit on it,” Yang swore, then did just that,

soon followed suit by the rest of her pack.

“Deal?” she asked Ruby, sticking out a hand.

“Deal,” agreed Ruby, and joined their band.

# \|||/

That night, when our Weiss reentered the city,

she looked quite the figure deserving of pity.

Her head hung low, hair drooping loose at her nape,

a sad, gloomy girl, even in her new cape.

For though the poor huntress had searched without rest,

She’d found nothing that would bring hope to her breast.

Even with Port’s help, there was no sign of Ruby,

and when Weiss returned she found more reason to be

furious, frustrated, totally pissed,

when she laid eyes on the news that she had missed.

That wretched queen Cinder was throwing a ball!

And the city’s reaction hurt Weiss most of all.

For they knew not what had befallen their princess,

what Cinder had done to make herself their mistress.

And though her blood boiled, Weiss held her tongue.

Kept any treasonous words in her lungs.

Tried her best to act like nothing was wrong.

Kept her head down as she strode through the throng.

Then, insult to injury, when she arrived home,

she found Father waiting, in his hand a comb.

“We’ll be at this ball,” he said. “Hell or high water!

Now hurry and finish your duties, my daughter.”

So with a heart like ice and a face like stone,

Weiss did obey, lest her cover be blown.

As usual, he handed over the earnings,

Oblivious to all the huntress’s yearnings.

“To the bank,” he ordered, and so there she went,

walking quite slowly, for her heart was rent.

Until the moment she stepped inside,

and into whose back did she collide?

“Ruby!” she cried. “Brothers Grimm, you’re alive!”

her heart thawing as it leapt to overdrive.

“Weiss?” her Ruby whirled 'round with a hiss—

Only to be caught in her very first kiss.

Now when Ruby’s new friends had asked for a distraction,

they really had not meant quite _this_ kind of action.

But for several long moments, their kiss caught every eye,

letting the one called Li’l Larceny slip on by. 

She snuck to the teller and seized both his arms,

an instant ‘fore he pressed the silent alarm.

“Quickly!” she called, and in the crooks rushed,

Yang with a whistle that made Ruby blush.

The bandits were careful to leave almost all,

stealing only the gold hoarded by Cinder Fall.

Thus, with one robbery, two birds were plucked,

leaving the wicked step-Queen truly… robbed.

Ruby played innocent as all the thieves fled,

an easy task when thoughts of Weiss filled her head.

“I must go,” she whispered, “but can we continue?”

“Yes,” said Weiss. “Right now. I’m coming with you.”

And so young Weisskäppchen at last fled the city.

Her cheeks flushed, her eyes bright, her smile so pretty.

Reunited with Ruby, her friend and her heart,

and ready and willing to make a new start.

# \|||/

Despite Cinder Fall’s loss of much of her gold,

the evil Queen was nothing else if not bold.

So while she sent Ironwood to snare the outlaws,

Cinder refused to put her grand ball on pause.

She summoned the banker, Watts, and both his colleagues,

to make a proposal that some would call folly.

“Trotter Watts,” she purred. “Hazel Runt. Tyrian Barrows.

Tell me, are you pigs all immune to arrows?”

Paling, the three bankers just shook their heads.

“Then if you’d rather that you three weren’t dead,

You will allow me to withdraw on credit.”

“Interest?” squeaked Watts.

“I advise you forget it.”

So when the night came for the touted Fall Ball,

Cinder was radiant, the envy of all.

Though her huntsman Ironwood had yet to return,

Cinder was at ease, her mind unconcerned.

Her mercenaries were posted all ‘round the hall,

ready to fight and to kill at her call.

A half-dozen elite clustered all 'round her throne

stationed to guard her, and guard her alone.

The night wore on, the party thrived

as more well-dressed guests did arrive.

The Queen presided from her seat,

the kingdom fawning at her feet.

As midnight struck, she called a toast

meant to please the gathered host.

But as she rose and raised her glass,

the whole room heard a clash of brass.

They looked, but no source could be found,

So Cinder stood tall, stood her ground.

“I—” she began, but then again

the _CRASH_ of cymbals caused a din.

Her face turned red, her eyes did flash.

She called, “Who dares to be so brash?”

Then a figure filled the doorway.

“Me!” the audience heard Yang's voice say.

“Just a humble bandit chief.

Don’t be scared, I’ll keep this brief.”

Two guards rushed forward, swords up high,

and met with cymbals to the eye.

“Now," called Yang, "Please, your attention,

so I may bare your Queen’s pretension.

For you should know that Cinder chose…

to kill your princess, Ruby Rose!”

The throng began to gasp and cry.

“No!” shrieked Cinder. “That’s a lie!”

“Well, yeah,” the bandit did admit.

“But only ‘cause your man botched it.”

And then, a ripple through the crowd,

until one voice shouted aloud,

“She’s here! The princess! Next to you!

Tell us, Ruby, is it true?”

A circle cleared, and there she stood,

poised proudly as her parents would.

“Yes!” she called. “Upon my honor!

I swear on the grave of my father!”

But doubt still shone on many faces,

for Cinder had covered her bases.

“Where’s your proof, ungrateful child?

For far too long you have run wild!

Distraught over my poor dead spouse,

I should have kept you in the house!”

“Guards! Your princess is distraught.

For her own good, she must be caught!”

But as they moved to heed her words,

they were met with gun and sword.

For Weisskäppchen stood at Ruby’s side

in her cloak of grey wolfshide

weapons raised and eyes alight,

a warning not to start this fight.

“Treason!” sneered Cinder. “A ridiculous claim!

You dare to attempt to besmirch my good name?

Proof!” she cried again. “Where is it?

I demand all your proof this minute!”

“Then here it is!” a new voice called.

As Ironwood entered the hall.

“I confess!” the huntsman shouted,

drawing gasps from those who’d doubted.

“I was sent to end her life!

By you, Cinder, our late king’s wife!”

The Queen blanched, seeing all the guests stir,

accusing faces turned against her.

“You dare?” she roared, her hands like claws,

threat of magic giving them pause.

Thunder echoed off the walls,

sorcery crackling at her call.

Then she felt it, at her neck.

The tip of not one sword, but six.

For the guards she’d thought to book

had been replaced by six skilled Crooks.

“Surrender,” Ruby called, her silver eyes gleaming like steel,

“This has gone on too long, Cinder. I’m bringing you to heel!”

As Cinder Fall was led away, the crowd sent up a cheer,

for at long last, they now could see the rightful heir was here.

She took her place upon the throne, her chest puffed up with pride

with seven crooks to watch her back, and Weiss Schnee at her side.

And so began Queen Ruby’s reign,

an era full of peace and gain.

Long did she rule, and ‘til the end,

she was surrounded by her friends.


End file.
